Friday, July 31, 2009

Current Crush: Diesel

Yes, I realise he's old and has children aged 17 and 15. There's just something about a man who can strum a guitar. It's kinda 'play me I'm yours' and reminds me of the Sex and the City episode when Carrie dated the jazz musician who played the double bass and who had ADD.

Last night, Diesel performed at the fabulous Judith Wright Centre in Fortitude Valley, with Asa Broomhall as his support act (another wicked guitarist). I'm not really someone who goes out of her way to attend live music events - I have other things I'm interested in and just never think about it - however when I do attend them, I keep asking in my internal monologue why the heck I don't go to live music more often. Last weekend I saw the Noonan family perform at Jimbour House - they were pretty good, but it was a totally different vibe. Diesel was way more vibey, way sexier, more on it, and just so ridiculously talented it was at times jaw dropping.

Diesel smoked up the stage (and the table top he jumped on at one point), with his spectacular voice which has incredible range, and evocative lyrics. Diesel's real fame time on the Oz music scene came in the early 90s with hits such as Tip of My Tongue, The Lobbyist and Cry In Shame, so the crowd was a little older (the non-proliferation of monochromatic 18-25 yr olds in oversized sunglasses, low-cut singlets paired with a bikini top and splashes of fluro was truly not missed).

Diesel is promoting his latest album, Project Blues: Saturday Suffering Fools, which is strongly rooted in Diesel's blues-y roots (reminiscent of his work with Melbourne Blues muso Chris Wilson on Short Cool Ones in 1996). Project Blues features a collection of blues standards and a couple of orginals. Backing the power-voice is an equally explosive band, featuring Diesel's father (Hank Lizotte) and two brothers (Mike and Brian), as well as long time bandmates (from his Diesel and the Injectors days) Richie Vez, Lee Moloney and Bernie Bremond.

Big tick goes to his remake of Aerosmith's (currently rediscovering these guys - Walk This Way in collaboration with Run DMC is on high rotation on my ipod right now) Sweet Emotion. As one reviewer has said of Diesel's Project Blues:

"This isn’t your average every day white guy blues record. It’s a powerful tribute to the guys that have come before with Diesel’s unique oz-rock touch thrown in. It is drenched in reverb and baritone sax and is meant to be heard loud... or even better, be seen live."

I couldn't agree more. I would also like to give a highly commended to his fashion: grey, skinny-ish leg jeans (not inappropriately skinny); grey business shirt, sleeves rolled up above elbows; black sweat band on right forearm; black/dark gray vest; black bow with long tie. Super clean shaven head. Hot.

He reminds me a little of a super ambitious soccer player. I don't know why.

Happy Friday: Indecision

What to do? What to do? Ambiwerra Sunday? I can never decide.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

One Night In Paris

Applause to Paris Hilton this morning (what is the world coming to?) after her warning to young girls about making sex tapes and doing sexual activities you don't really want to do. Paris made her comments as part of the MTV show Paris, Not France, which documents her rise to fame. Paris has this to say about the now-legendary sex tape released by her snake of an ex, Rick Salomon (I believe he had a girlfriend at the time of night-vision vid - the uber grudge-holder Shannen Doherty):

"I want young girls to never put themselves in that situation I was in. Don't ever let someone talk you into doing something you don't want to do. I was humiliated, embarrassed and in shock that it happened. It wasn't my fault, it was something that someone did to me, so I've just learned to be a strong woman and nothing can hurt me at this point. It was definitely very painful. When you trust someone and love someone - for them to do that to you, it's really hard. It's something that bothers me everyday."

While it certainly put her on the celebrity radar (where is Rick Salomon now?), and her ballsy grab of royalties from sales of the tape highlighted her business savvy, I am impressed that she has come out to discuss the implications the aftermath of the release has had on her.

I don't know why, but a lot of guys have a burning desire for women to send naked photos to them - over email or text (so easily forwarded) - or make sex vids together etc. I've never really understood it, and some guys do apply some serious pressure. If Paris Hilton is a role model (egads!) to tweens, let's hope they get this message loud and clear.

By the way - did you know Paris Hilton has size 11 feet?! That's why she stands pigeontoed in photos - apparently it makes her feet look smaller.

Speaking of Troy: Rosy Rose

Red Cliff = Yellow Fever

It's a well documented fact that I love everything that comes out of Asia: Phuong, the food, Hayao Miyazaki films, Hello Kitty + other adorable consumables, and, of course their men. Amusingly, a friend had asked me a few weeks ago whether I was over my yellow fever. As I'd had nothing to do with any Asian males for quite some time, I pretty confidently said I was over it (fingers crossed behind my back, natch - I would hate to be a liar). Of course, that evening was the night of Johnny Caxton - the beginning of my perilous slide back into yellow fever.

Before you can say "Poh Ling Yeow and a bowl of Pho", I found myself at the marvellous Palace Cinemas at the Barracks in Paddington, openly drooling over the Red Cliff eye candy, much to the confusion of my viewing buddy (he "doesn't get it"). Whatevs.

Before I launch into my rave about how much I loved Red Cliff, this has to be prefaced by the fact that we here in the "West" have received an abridged version (2.5 hours approx) of what was about 4.5 hours of film - delivered as two films - throughout Asia. Certain parts have been condensed, however we are also given extended versions of conversations and background narrative (at the beginning) that weren't screened in Asian cinemas to ensure character development and historical placement wasn't lost on us gaijin. David Stratton felt that to do this was equivalent to pummeling the Lord of the Rings trilogy into one 2.5 hour film. A slight exaggeration. You are pretty much up to speed the whole way through the film, and I think the brevity is better suited to western audiences who aren't privy to the whole history of the story, and who statistically have a much shorter attention span than Asians (I made that up).

Director John Woo is best known for films such as Face/Off (appalling) and Mission Impossible II (meh). His return to Asian film-making was widely lauded in China, and certainly for good reason. The action scenes are brilliant: somewhat reminiscent of 300 at times - however in colour and not remotely tedious as they were in 300 ,which I loathed evidently - and to me it was the Chinese version of Gladiator. The battles - of which there are many - were visually and strategically impressive, and I guarantee you will gasp at the formations, choreographed so neatly it was almost like watching a dance performance. The red-cordial blood drenchings and tricky camera-work - occasional slow-mos followed by fast-forwards (a little like Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which I adored) - remind us that this is an Asian film.

Asian culture is celebrated through art, the beautiful tea ceremonies, dance, music and the Yin and Yang approach to nature. The film is peppered with references to Sun Tzu's The Art of War, and is really a proud homage to this period of ancient Chinese history (and no wonder - the Chinese Government was a key investor in the $80 million film).

Set in 208AD in the dying days of the Han Dynasty, the film tracks the ambitious warlord and virtual leader (he makes the decisions for the "puppet" Emperor) of the North, Cao Cao, as he seeks to take control over the entirety of China. Faced with a sophisticated and successful war strategist, the two southern provinces become unlikely allies as they seek to dispel the take-over from the north (*cough* Hong Kong and Taiwan vs the PRC anyone?). Zhuge Liang (cutie Takeshi Kaneshiro), Liu Bei's brilliant war strategist, is sent to build the alliance with Sun Quan and his Vice Roy Zhou Yu using the power of his intellect. Zhou's beautiful wife, Qiao Xiao (an ex-super model in real life), is master of the tea ceremony, pacifist, and heart breaker of Cao Cao (the romantic rationale for Cao Cao's determination to take over the South of China).

Fought along the banks of the Yangtze River, the war strategy is loads of fun, and as always after one of these films you want to learn kung fu. Certain visual aspects of the film irritated me (compare the boats powering along the Yangtze to the scene in Troy when the boats are departing Greece and you'll see what I mean), however overall it is a visual feast with stunning scenery.

No war film these days is a film without the "there are no winners here" proclamation following the eventual conclusion of battle, however I didn't cringe and I felt it very apt (but then again, I'm a pacifist). The story is exquisite, and while some detail may be lacking, I don't believe it would be to the film's detriment in the view of most cinema-goers (I plan on getting some pirated copies of the long version at some point in any event). 4 stars.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More chain store diffusion...

The next collaboration in the long line of designer chic at cheap chain store prices is B Collection -Bloom's diffusion line for Target. Coming to Target stores in October the line features over 70 different shades of nail polish, each named after a city.

It seems Bloom (which is one of my ultimate fave makeup brands) is ensuring this diffusion line is very separate to their main brand as the packaging leaves a lot to be desired (or maybe it's the feral lime green polish that is hurting my eyes!) ... B Collection does not seem to capture the cute factor synonymous with Miss Bloom at all! Here's hoping my views change when more information is released....

Would you like an entourage with your hotel room?

Now I am a big big fan of Entourage (E is my favourite) but not sure if I would go so far as to stay at the new Entourage Bungalow at the W Hotel in South Beach, Miami... If you do decide to take up the offer, you will also receive a personal driver, a luxury yacht spin along the coast, a personal poolside cabana and jet skis and treats from Grey Goose and Heineken. Only groups of four need apply (of course!)

Taking the whole obsessive tv fan thing to another level I think!

Nice deck though!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Love In A Time of Swine Flu

MAC Colour Craft

Check out Mac's new Colour Craft collection. It's bright.

How Much Do You Have In Common With...

Miranda Kerr?

"In her rider, Kerr apparently insists on large Jo Malone candles to be burning, fresh flowers (preferably David Austin roses when in season, or lilies), a case of Fiji water, Noni juice, goji berries and choc-coated goji berries, organic green tea, organic peppermint tea, organic gluten-free muesli, organic fruit, organic raw almonds, organic Tamari roasted almonds, organic almond milk, Kombucha goat's milk and goat's milk yoghurt but, to finally prove she's human and not orgasmically organic all the time, she also needs a big bowl of chocolate Lindt balls."

Not much. I wonder if it helps that I love Victoria's Secret (gonna hit that store up in just a few more sleeps) and Orlando Bloom?

How Much Do You Have In Common With...

John Lennon?

"John Lennon was addicted to coffee, cigarettes, dieting and astrology.”
- from Nowhere Man - The Last Days Of John Lennon , by Robert Rosen

I have at least 2 on a normal day, 3 on a freak-out day.

Pic credits

How To Make Your Landlord Unhappy

America's Next Top Model style:

Ryan and CariDee,

I was shocked when I returned home yesterday to find a hole in the middle of my living room wall that was made during your stay. Coincidentally it's about the same size as the remote control, which is also broken. For this, I will be keeping your deposit.

Along with that, there was fake orange tan dust all over everything: the pillows, the sheets, the towels, the bathmat, the walls, everywhere. The icing on the cake were the short black hairs all over the entire bathroom, as well as black sludge and lipstick smeared along walls. Fruit flies formed a thick cloud in the kitchen. Bandaids stuck to the floor, etc. etc. etc. Both puzzling and sickening.

People on Craigslist rent out their homes, not their hotel rooms. It's for mature, respectful people. If you throw things at walls, you are neither. Tanning dust, black sludge, black hairs hairs, and wall holes are for hotel rooms where a maid comes everyday. I've been doing this for five years, and I've never had anyone treat my home this way.

I don't think that you two were intentionally disrespectful--I can see you two tried to wash the sheets--it's probably just how you roll. But if you roll that way, stay in a hotel. Take responsibility for your profoundly tantastic lives.

If I hear about you renting off Craigslist again, I will post my story of the Tanning Dust/Black Sludge Nightmare as a warning to other renters. Actually I just might do that anyway, after I get done cleaning the bathroom, which should take a week. Regardless, no more Craigslist for you two.

[Pissed Off Landlord - Name Redacted]

P.S. You left your diarrhea medicine on the floor.

Snap! Ex America's Next Top Model winner CariDee allegedly left the unit in NYC that she was renting in a right mess. Tsk tsk. What would Tyra say?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Mystic M on Aries

Arieans a la Victoria Beckham are A-Type Alpha Peeps…even when doing something so classically carefree and child-like as swinging. Note her perfect form, core locked in, shoulders back and down, grip on the swing ropes not so firm as to engage the incorrect muscles on her forearms, legs lengthened but without the knees locking, eyes straight ahead, big toe in line with her hip-bones and her chin aligned a la the dictates of Pilates.

Yes, they are often perplexed by the inability of others to be so athletic and on-trend as the Aries. It infuriates them. But in softer, more mellow and tenderly self-reflective moments, an Aries will acknowledge his or her superiority and forgive the foibles of others who may NOT have been the school champion of everything.

Mystic Medusa is my astro-hero. Too spot on.

I Say "Poh, Poh To That"

Poh looking fierce in Who magazine. Poh is currently deserving of a "celebrities" tag.

'Nuff Said

The Bold + The Beautiful = The Aussie Bikini

Zimmermann launched its resort collection on the rooftop of the Empire Hotel in NYC last Friday (NYC time), just 24 hours after Jodhi Meares had her Tigerlily bikinis trotted out to the New York fashion press.

The rooftop party:

Zimmermann is already stocked in over 90 outlets in the States, however the girls are hoping to expand their presence in the US by opening a store front, possibly in the West Village, in NYC. Bless. With store vacancies reaching about 10-15% in New York, these fashion and biz savvy lasses are sure to nab a bargain.

The high-waisted bikini bottom is a current favourite of mine. It's very glam Marilyn Monroe-esque (fitting, as I plan on attending a "Tragic" theme party dressed as Marilyn - tragically dying before her time and all that. I hope hope hope no one goes as Michael Jackson. Unlikely, however, given the sense of humour of the peops going).

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dancing On the Ceiling

I often wish I lived in Melbourne (never in winter), however with Brisbane attempting to replicate Melbourne's laneway bar/cafe/shopping culture, maybe there will be no need to have such fantasies. However - Brisvegas definitely doesn't have Yah Yahs, nor do we have its Rock Aerobics classes!

Rock Aerobics: a dance fitness class for rock music lovers, hosted at Yah Yah’s. Don’t usually go to a gym? Aren’t really into dance music or Top 40? Well Rock Aerobics is for you. Here we pogo, skank (yessssss!), do the Mick Jagger walk, we air guitar and just jump around to songs from folk like ACDC and Iggy Pop. Remember to wear sneakers! I'm not such an ACDC girl, but there is seriously nothing better than Guns 'n' Roses and a skipping rope. You heard it here first.

There will be no Janes at Rock Aerobics.

Oh that just sounds so freakin' fun! Like boogying around your house before heading out for "a big one" when you're home alone - except with other people! Other people who love doing stuff like that! Oh I WISH!

I haven't done aerobics since the days of Aerobics Oz Style when I was 7, and it was acceptable to wear super highcut leotards (wait... I still wear them).

PS: In the States they not only have Rock Aerobics, they also have PUNK Rock Aerobics. I doubt I'd go to that, what with my hip hop obsession and all. But it sure would be fun to dress up for.

Longest Courtship Ever

Archie is set to propose to Veronica Lodge on September 8 in comic land, after 70 years of dating (Betty is devo). Talk about a commitment phobe. The antics from proposal to marriage are covered in 6 collector's edition ... editions.

Check out Veronica's blog for some hilarious Betty sniping (i.e. "I wonder if Betty wants to be my maid of honour - *hugs*!") hahaha. Frenemy!

Happy Friday

This weekend is going to be so good! Cloudland + free Moet tonight (yummy!); a Jimbour House recital by the incredible Katie Noonan & family tomorrow; a Christmas in July party tomorrow night ... with a gorgeous male model in attendance no less!; and blissful happy Sunday on Sunday and catching up with a great friend back from the UK for good (muhahahaha - all mine!) and another back from her holiday... to pick up the doggy sadly. But there will be flirting with my favourite waiter at Salt to cheer me up, so I doubt I'll be sad for long. What are you doing this weekend petals?

Tim Walker Talks Summer

The only way he knows how.

A waltz with me?

Friends of mine got married last week - I wasn't able to attend but I did sneak a peek at their first dance together on facebook earlier tonight (aah the beauties of the interweb!)

The wedding dance performed by the whole bridal party was hilarious and included a boys vs girls dance off, the groom and his groomsmen dancing backstreet boys/boyband style and a bollywoodesque finale to Jai Ho...This prompted me to search "wedding dances" in youtube and I came up with the following gems:

Baby Got Back - this did the email rounds a few years ago

Walking into the church...

High School Musical!

I think this one is my favourite- very cute dad!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Dishy Dish

Curtis Stone - as well as being uber hot and talented - has a website. The blog portion of the site is peppered with references to his "darling mum". Bless.


I wish I was Poh. It has been agreed around water coolers and on morning radio everywhere that they are totally going to get it on the moment she gets off the plane.

I Heart ....

These sunglasses

... and the clutch - although looks like it would only fit half the lipsticks I currently have in my handbag, and wouldn't leave room for much else.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You Get What You Give

Not long ago, Gwyneth Paltrow discussed the "frenemy" phenomenon, explained by Gretchen (to the then sweet and innocent Cady) in Mean Girls as "enemies who act like friends".

Note: Apparently the "frenemy" Gwyneth was discussing was Winona Ryder - close friends until a fall-out over who rightfully deserved the role Gwyneth ultimately won an Oscar for in Shakespeare in Love. It has all the elements: rivalry, jealousy and alleged betrayal.

Mischa Barton is currently experiencing her own taste of frenemy-ness. Following her forced hospitalisation last week, a "friend" has informed the salivating media pack that she is "a suicidal, uninsurable mess".

Mischa will say "thanks, friend" when she's better (and has been to boxing class).

I can't speak for males, but I know that on Planet Girl the frenemy issue is alive and well - and rarely dealt with. We all know relationships are complex, and certainly don't always fit into easy descriptors such as "friend", "lover", "enemy" etc. At different times, and depending on what might be going on with you or the other person in your respective lives, hanging out with that other person can at times far exceed the torture of sitting for 4 hours on a plastic chair without a break watching 6 year olds sing and tap dance their way through 'Annie'.

We are all aware how toxic the frenemy relationship is - our buttocks clench involuntarily when we receive a perky, passive aggressive email/text from them. We grin through gritted teeth at their "jokes", inevitably at your expense. Strangely, we can also have a bloody good time with frenemies, because if they're a cutting bitch to you, they've probably also got some cutting, hilarious things to say about other people - and let's face it, if you can have a witty, snappily delivered response to any given situation on a Friday night out, it's always going to make for good times and people laughing at the sparkling wit. While it's good for a few moments in time, do try to limit it to once a week, for only a few hours - soon enough the forked tongue turns to you: not such a good time. Oh wait... Should I be preaching to you about cutting frenemies from your life? Should I be delivering a holier than thou sermon about only talking to the peops you actually like? Does that really happen? How many times do you shake your head, wondering why the f*ck that chick hangs out with that guy, or why those two are friends when they clearly hate each other? Quid pro quo, that's why. Scratching backs, mutual beneficiaries or even the fact neither have any other friends.

The important thing is to do a cost/benefit analysis of the situation: determine whether the vile and randomly evil side of this person is worth whatever it is you get out of the relationship. Can you escape their shit for extended periods or reality check their most cutting comments (e.g. they need to tell me I'm uncoordinated because they find my blazing intellect intimidating)? This is essential for your sanity and self-esteem, and also for your ability to objectively assess the relationship you have with this person.

There is truly nothing sadder than a person who has deluded themselves into believing their frenemy is their BFF. It's not so. You do NOT bitch about your best friend behind her back. Really. You may think "God she's a fool sometimes" but these are thoughts are accompanied by huge amounts of love, affection and understanding/ compassion in your heart. If you discover that the person you thought was one of your best mates has been bitching lyrical about you, you make a decision about whether to keep them as a friend (but note they're dislike of you), or you cut them if you don't think you can handle the toxic waste. The level of trust we confer on our real friends is high, and it's devastating when you realise those people have betrayed your confidence, or worse, the realisation that now that they have heard your deepest darkest secrets, it turns out they don't really like you after all. It hurts. But we get over it. You don't need to secretly cut your upper thighs at night in the bathroom. You pick up your bat and ball, go home at sunset with all the nonchalance you can muster and find some friends who value imperfect you as a perfect candidate for friendship with them.

Classic examples of a frenemy:
1. Your "BFF" steals or attempts to steal your boyfriend (or any guy she knows you're interested in for that matter) - you may also wish to replace boyfriend with "job", "lifetime ambition" or basically any other thing you desperately want (for the right reasons).
2. When you are at the top of your game, she feels the need to remind you of your less than perfect knees - publicly.
3. Hanging out with them either one-on-one or in a group situation turns into a battle of passive-aggressive wit which neither of you wins, nor feels particularly good about. Generally to the extreme discomfort of others.
4. There's something about them that you just .. hate. But you're too chicken to either cut them from your life or confront them about a behavioural trait of theirs that bugs you.
5. She tells you about some great event she's having and that you will totally be invited, and then the date has passed, photos are up on Facebook and you weren't there. She follows up with a grim chaser of "oooh I'm soooo sorry! I was just so busy, I must have forgotten to email you about it" or worse, a blatant lie - which never fails to insult your intellect - "didn't you get my text about the party? That is so weird! I totally messaged you! In fact - I was mad at you for not coming!". Yeah, right.
6. The thought of airkissing or hugging in public makes you feel at once queasy and deeply insincere.

"Keep your friends close, but your frenemies closer". Personally, I don't have the energy for that stuff. It's uber draining, and all that plotting can become terribly tiresome. If you're spending more time nurturing the frenemy relationships in your life, you need to reassess your situation. The relationship will continue to bring you down - both self-esteem wise and in terms of self-respect (you really can't hold your head high when you call your "friend" on her deepest insecurity in front of a guy she likes) - until you demand better for yourself. Get what you need from the person, or figure out another way of getting it (go on a slightly more difficult, less obvious path) and leave them. Life is too short for frenemies. (I just preached).

You shouldn't need to watch your back all the time.