What Is Love?

Ali has asked for feedback on this strange phenomena we call love - i.e. what is it, how do you know it is love and not just a stomach bug and when should you "I love you" - some of the scariest damn words in the world. Particularly if you're left on a limb, in a world of silence with just crickets chirping for company after you've blurted them out.

I am trying to think back to the times I've been in love... It's a good long while ago now, but I must admit - there is truly no greater feeling, especially those early stages when your beloved can do no wrong, is the perfect person of your dreams who seems to have been placed on earth just for you - and you for him (or her). I believe the universe delivers quite a lot of synchronicity and there is so much harmony in partnership. Yin and yang, light and day, man and woman and so on.


So. What are the symptoms of love-sickedness?
* Inability to eat. Caused by butterflies or distractedness. Food. Who needs it? (Until you go on a date together... And even then, the food goes cold because you are so busy staring into each other's eyes, giggling at their perfect comic timing and generally being mush-burgers together. Embrace this feeling! Bugger all the other diners - this is the best time of your life! You're probably reminding them of how it feels ot be in love too!)

* You suddenly become uber-productive at work - not only are you a workplace star, you also manage to type out hundreds of emails per day to friends and your beloved raving about how fantastic Beloved is. Time seems to fly. In fact - you are probably flying too! Love is like a magic carpet... Just don't take this time to sing Disney melodies. Never appropriate.

* Decision-making becomes a breeze. Probably because you are uber-productive. It's weird, but true. And if you can't make a decision, it's probably because every option seems so magical ....

* Everything is beautiful, amazing, marvellous etc. Your dragon boss is suddenly tolerable - in fact, you want to hug Dragon Boss! (You might also be on ecstasy).

* Life suddenly seems to make sense. All those uphill battles you've struggled throug in the past? It was so you would end up here, in this moment, with this person. You are suddenly a philosopher who can wax lyrical for hours about fate. Even if you were a staunch anti-fate believer before, a switch has been flicked. The love flick.



* You do naff things you would never imagine yourself doing past puberty - matching your star signs together ("out of curiousity" of course), you catch yourself changing your surname to his ("to see how it sounds") and you have daydreams of your wedding day and his perfect speech and the table settings - all with a dopey grin on your face.

* Kissing suddenly becomes top priority over mundane activities that were once essential - the gym, cooking, eating.

* You chuck sickies together - not because one needs chicken soup, but because you're in love! What greater reason?

* You need less sleep. There are way better things to do in bed than sleep!

* All of a sudden, you feel whole. The thought of him not being there in your life takes your breath away, with the brutality of that thought.

* Baby talking. I don't know why people do this, but it is a symptom of some people being in love. It's kinda weird, but each to their own...



Any or all of this, and you are probably running a love fever. Good on you - you are one lucky, blessed person. This is something people aspire to, fight wars over and cry for hours on end over. It's huge!

Ok. You're in love. Are they in love? When should you tell them you love them?

Oh the agony! It's delicious, isn't it?

A lot of people I know say the words materialise around the 3-4 month mark. This may sound really early - in the words of one love-cynic I know: How could you possibly know someone in 3 months?. I think sometimes, you just know. I also think there's a lot to be said for drawing out the delicious agony of the moment. There is also something to be said about letting these feelings out to the person you adore. Who doesn't love to hear that someone loves them?



The only caveat on blurting out your feelings is whether you must be guaranteed of hearing the words back. It is a form of rejection to say the precious words and get nothing in return. So. If he seems to be exhibiting some of the same symptoms as you, I would probably go for it. If he's still playing mindgames and is a little difficult to pin down... Bide your time (I actually doubt you'll be feeling much love - unless it's desperate love which should be avoided at all costs - if this is the case).

I say go for it. Love is grand and special and beautiful. Immerse yourself in his love and immerse him in yours. You will be better people for it.

But wait. Who should say it first?

Read this article, and you decide. I believe we girls should.. Even if it's just a simple "I think I might be ... um... kinda .... falling a ... bit in .... love ... .with you". Exhale. Wide eyes. Blush. Wait. He'll probably say it back.

Happy Friday, lovers.... xo



Image credits