Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Saying Au Revoir

As people who have navigated the sometimes calm, often treacherous waters of relationships, I'm sure we all know for certain one thing: we can never read the minds of our partners/dates/friends. Strangely, I can generally guess what my parents thinking... ;o)

You may remember my previous post that contained this simple message: When love gets serious, say au revoir to old flames. Full stop.

Of course, this is evidently my own view on things. No two people will share the same principles or opinions - and it's finding the balance between views that you're comfortable with that can make a relationship work. But if one person's view is so polar opposite on something that is quite important to you, I wonder how much difference of principle you can tolerate?

I can't read his mind... But I'm happy to perve on him!

So these are principles I'm talking - and it can be anything. If you have some serious rules for serious love, and your partner has wildly divergent principles - do you put up with it? Can it work? Principles (supported by sound reasons for their development), unlike habits, are things to hold on to, surely? Many things in life are shades of grey, but when there are things that are simply black and white - why complicate them by entering the grey zone?

Sometimes things are simply black or white


A Sunny Disposition said...

I think you have to first determine if the difference between the way you both see things is too much for you to ignore. If it is, you need to talk with him about it. And if you don't get anywhere by talking about it, then you might have a problem.. Just ask your heart if you can really live with the differences long term - don't just suffer in silence.. Principles are so important, and are the basis for the way we live our lives every day - they play such a huge role in our happiness, as they affect our emotions so dramatically - I think when it comes to principles, it is black and white, because they are beliefs. Does that help? Probably not.. I just think that you can have so many other differences with the person you love that are totally fine for you to live with (like he loves sport, you hate it - he prefers beer, you're a cocktail girl) but when it comes to values, principles, beliefs - these you really do have to have in common I think.. xx

Rachel said...

As always, Ms Ali - bang on advice! It is true... And as a drama queen, I must realise these things! xo