Ummmm, hang on. Excuse me for just two seconds. I can’t talk now, I have to Instagram something. Oooook….there we go.
Send.
Ok, all set. It’s posted. Woooo, 10 likes! In two seconds!!! Heheheh. Oh sorry. I’m here. How’s it going? Are you on Instagram? How’s your Instagram life? Super cool, right?
The thing with Instagram, it’s the difference there is between our real life and the dream life we post. Ok so we’re all supposed to know it and take Instagram life with a grain of salt, but let’s be honest, we all forget.
We really think we can follow people’s life on Instagram. And then things happen like :
Friend : “Oh, sorry – I didn’t reach out too much these past week, I saw on Instagram you were busy travelling and very happy.”
Or things like : “Oh my gooood, you had the best summer didn’t you!”
Me: “Huh? What are you talking about? I mean, I went through a break up, I moved, it was kind of a mess there for a minute. Ohhh, you mean my INSTAGRAM? Well, yeah – it’s my Instagram account!!! Don’t judge me by my Instagram!!! I had a summer that was sometimes amazing, sometimes boring, sometimes awful. Just like everyone else. And four nice photos of Greece (Okay I have to admit, one pretty amazing week) don’t make my whole summer amazing.
But at the same time, I totally jump to conclusions too. One of my friends spent three weeks posting lovey selfies with her new guy, and I said:
Me: “Oh honeeeey!!! I’m so happy for you! You met the love of your life! He’s so cute with his beard!”
My friend: “The guy with the beard? That asshole? No, no – it’s over now. Good riddance! But since you can’t really make a break up announcement on Instagram (unless you post some inexplicable quote that only three people will understand, like “All ends are beginnings” “Love is never enough” “Singles do it better”) everyone thinks I’m still with him.
But no worries – two weeks without cheesy love selfies and everyone will have forgotten.”
My friend: “The guy with the beard? That asshole? No, no – it’s over now. Good riddance! But since you can’t really make a break up announcement on Instagram (unless you post some inexplicable quote that only three people will understand, like “All ends are beginnings” “Love is never enough” “Singles do it better”) everyone thinks I’m still with him.
But no worries – two weeks without cheesy love selfies and everyone will have forgotten.”
So there you go. That will teach us to only post the happy photos, right?
But have you ever tried posting a photo of something normal, or even a little depressing?
Oh la la, total disaster, unfollowing festival, disappearance from the planet of likes.
---- credits to Garance Dore for these words and picturesOh la la, total disaster, unfollowing festival, disappearance from the planet of likes.
If anyone looked at my Instagram account, they would probably I just drink coffee all day. (Which is pretty accurate at the moment.) I wonder if our Instagram accounts will be the relics we leave behind for the uber evolved humans to discover after climate change wipes us all out? What will they think of us? Between Kim Kardashian's butt, a litany of green smoothies and "bliss" balls, and a bunch of cats and dogs, they'll probably assume we died because we weren't terribly bright. Someone Instagram the comet landing, STAT!
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