How much time did we spend wondering? I can admit to huge chunks of my mid- to late 20s, and certainly a decent whack of my 30th year pondering this question. It was a mindless curiousity, a pleasant place for my mind to wander to. Having a crush on a fantasy is so easy - you don't have fights, you don't live away from each other, and you don't have to worry about whose turn it is to pack the dishwasher.
These days, I don't have that pleasant escape. Instead I have a husband! And I think a husband in the flesh, the real thing, is actually more lovely than the fantasy (even if he hasn't packed the dishwasher or whatever other silly gripe there may be). Your husband can tell you what he's doing, and you can blissfully surrender to the joy of 100% trust and knowing that he is real, his life is real, and he wants you in it.
But time is finite, for everyone and everything. So enjoy what you have right now, ponder the joys of the future, but love that which is real and before you the most. Don't waste time.
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