The Rules of Christmas Dressing or Other Quotable Quotes

Here are the rules of Christmas party attire, as told by the inimitable Anna Dello Russo in what appears to be Engrish.

"Now begins the critical period for PARTIES to celebrate CHRISTMAS.

They involving not only the family and friends, as well as formal events.

I'm going to remember you my 10 RULES to be always on TOP!

1. Don't wear RED or GREEN outfits. You will look alike a Christmas tree.

2. Forget any COATS (also if outside it's only 5 degrees). You should make a big impact just with your dress.

3. Choose a GOLD. You will emphasize the idea to be a Christmas GIFT to unwrap.

4. Go to the hairdresser, facial, manicure and pedicure. Don't be worry to be OVER-DONE!

5. Choose between HAT and MAKEUP, if you wear a hat keep fresh face otherwise you will looks like a transvestite.

6. Wearing lots of JEWELLERY. the sound of JEWELLERY banish bad thoughts and bad ghosts.

7. Focus on the SHOES. Generally at Christmas party you spend a lot of time seated on the sofa.

8. Shoes have to carry all the magical atmosphere of Christmas: Choose sparkling, shiny, eccentric, metallic, decorative, precious, brocade, extravagant, color-full, magnificent, enchanting, ... PAIR OF SHOES.

9. Don't be worry about your BAG,you immediately will forget it on some chairs.

10. Don't throw yourself on the drinks and on the food. It's not POLITE!


Comments:
* I do not like the last rule. That's the first thing I do!
* Clearly, ADR has not caught a bus or walked to a subway stop in only 5 degree temps.
* Who sits on the sofa? You should be dancing on the sofa!

Age Shall Not Weary Them

This is Jane Fonda. She is SEVENTY! Sure, it probably cost a lot in plastic surgery, personal training fees and the emotional toll of not eating cake, but ... It might just be worth it.

See V Magazine's latest issue, attempting to convince us that no one cares about age.


If only.

Must See

Jealous Much?

Important question: Do you think, based on this pic, that they are shagging? (Not right then, but you know what I mean).

On the campaign trail for their latest film together - which Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhall are naked for about 65% of - it seems fairly natural that they would conduct promotions in the nudder as well. Gyllenhaal plays a commitment-phobic Viagra sales-rep and Anne's character, an artist, strikes up a casual sex arrangement with the Viagra man. We all know where casual sex arrangements end up, too... Either one party gets too attached and they break up or they fall for each other and live happily ever after (not often).

According to the Sydney Morning Herald website, Hathaway said she initially found the requirements of the role "mortifying" and was left "constantly bruised" from the physical exertion of making love - sometimes aggressively - for the cameras.

Gyllenhaal had this to say about fake-shagging Hathaway:
"There's something about the way Annie and I both work which is inherently very musical. It's all about rhythm. There's a rhythm to writing, there's a rhythm to sports and there's a rhythm to sex."

They're totally doing it, right?

GOOP Meets Glee

LOVE this. This episode airs in Oz on Monday and I couldn't resist taking a sneak peek!

Happy Friday: The Day Is Almost Upon Us!

Tomorrow, Phuong will become a Mrs!

How I Love Thee...

Free music!

Even better - it's Girl Talk! And it's new! OMG! Go download it, and enjoy!

Reliving the Post-War Party

"In 1952, Revlon launched its iconic color collection Fire & Ice™, with matching lips and fingertips in a bold, fiery red. This fall, Revlon brings back its Fire & Ice™ collection for today’s woman – who is as bold, confident, and glamorous as ever."

Well, hello Jessica Biel, vamping it up as you are in direct homage to the birth of the "new American woman".


Do you remember her portrayal as the loud, mischevious American woman in Easy Virtue? Stunning. So Revlon was really a shoo-in, what with all that red lipstick and American-ness and all...


And just to make sure you are a Revlon woman, the geniuses in the marketing department developed a quiz. Just to be sure! Hilarity!


I once got booted out of a nightclub for dancing with my shoes off - which was a blessing in disguise. I had an exam the next day which I had to depart early in search of McDonalds - post-alcohol shakes and an Asian Legal Systems exam truly was not pretty!

Not sure what they were getting at with the whole "Do you hope the next man you meet is a psychiatrist?" thing... Were American women all a bit fruity post-war? Um yes... Betty Draper.

Hopes Dashed Globally - In the Nicest of Ways

When I first met Kate I knew there was something very special about her and I knew there was possibly something that I wanted to explore there. But we ended up being friends for a while and that was a good foundation because I do genuinely believe now that being friends with one another is a massive advantage. It just went from there and over the years I knew things were getting better and better.

We went through a few stumbling blocks as every relationship does but we picked ourselves up and carried on. From where you have the odd problem when you are first getting to know each other those have all gone and it's just really easy just being with each other, it's really fun and I'm obviously extremely funny and she loves that.



Aaaah yes, the wait is over. Women the world over born circa 1981-83 must now give up on their dream of becoming princess (and eventual queen) to Prince William. The woman to dash all these hopes is one Kate Middleton - she of the lustrous mane of chestnut hair, and conservative (yet nice) fashion styling described by the Daily Telegraph as: "a cautious, painfully immaculate dresser ... For a girl of 28, it suggests a case of fashion constipation... The thinking appears to have been not 'What would I enjoy wearing?' but 'How would this sit on a commemorative plate'?"

And speaking of commemorative plates, there is sure to be a Wedgwood bonanza in the lead up to this long-awaited engagement.


And how lovely that William (known as Big Willie to Kate apparently) chose his mother's engagement ring: "[my mother] is not going to be around for the fun and excitement so it's my way of keeping her close to it all. I'm no expert on rings but I've been reliably informed it's a sapphire with some diamonds but I'm sure everyone recognises it from previous times."

Apple Owns the World

iTunes is now selling The Beatles. Music world dominance.

Holy Spell-Check Hilarity

I love this website.


Aaaah wordplay. The happy domain of geeks.

And Finally...

Shoesday Cruise

Some snaps from Jimmy Choo's latest Cruise collection.

Giraffe Manor

Built in 1932 in the style of a Scottish hunting lodge, the Manor is now an unsophisticated but charming homestay. Surrounded by the 140 acres of private sanctuary in a suburb of Nairobi, it offers an unusual Nairobi stopover, with the opportunity to see the endangered Rothschild giraffe up close as they wander across the lawn (or closer still as it checks out your breakfast). A quirky feature is the rather formal sit-down dinners around a communal dining table lit with antique candelabra.

Yes, they really said unsophisticated! Of course the official website considers the Manor an elegant, personally hosted, small and exclusive hotel, famous for its resident herd of giraffe. The Giraffe Manor offers a rich blend of welcoming accommodation, highly trained and friendly staff, as well as one of Nairobi's finest kitchens.



This is very Agatha Christie-esque, no? Death on the Nile etc?

January Vogue Australia

Featuring a 6 and half months pregnant Miranda Kerr. Miranda Kerr is everywhere at the moment - from A Current Affair with her nanna to Vogue - as she promotes her latest book. This is the first time Oz Vogue has featured a pregnant lady on its cover. I'm glad they went with the clothing option rather than the countless nude Demi-inspired covers that mags generally seem to prefer.

Baby Bump

Miranda Kerr has appeared completely naked and knocked-up in W Magazine, and she looks - as always - amazing. The 27 year old glamour girl had this to say about starting a family: For me, family is life. The decision to start one wasn’t complex at all.

The magazine went on to say that Kerr, whose stealth wedding to actor Orlando Bloom this past July caught even the paparazzi off guard, was in Paris shooting a Jil Sander campaign when she found out she was pregnant. “I was wondering why I’d been so sick.” Kerr and Bloom have opted not to be told their child’s sex. “We’re keeping it a surprise,” she says. Though her modeling stock has risen (she’s currently fronting campaigns for Jil Sander, Prada, and Victoria’s Secret), Kerr has no issues with putting her professional ambitions on hold. “My career has been wonderful, but it’s not my life. I don’t feel pressure to get back to work.” As for the long-term future, the Aussie native has conceived a rustic plan for domestic bliss: “My goal involves a hammock, a vegetable patch, and a solar-powered house. And I hope to eventually get there.”

I really love this girl's attitude to life.

Can't Get Enough

Yellow dresses!


Thank you, Victoria!

Shoesday: Coverstory

I still hate those shoes. But this is a cool cover!

Hot Tip: The Stuck Zipper

How many times have you stood in a change room, face gradually turning a darker shade of red, sweat gathering on your brow, hair in your eyes and making you crazy, ability to breathe rapidly diminishing as you realise that the dress that is stuck with your arms poking out the top and also somehow twisted around your kneck you in a most uncomfortable fashion will not be coming off until the f#*$cking zip comes down? And the zip is stuck of course.

Obviously, the key thing here is to remember that a piece of silk wrapped around your shoulders, kneck and head is not going to kill you (unless you've really p*ssed someone off) - so just breathe and rememer that this moment isn't going to last forever. If you don't have anyone around that you trust sufficiently to see you in your granny knickers (why is it that we wear the worst underwear when we end up in change rooms?) and who can yank the dress back down then some serious wriggle action is required. Possibly also some jumping and simultaneous tugging.

Once the dress is back in place somewhat, it comes time to get that zipper moving. And how, pray tell, does one do this without exercising brute force?

Here's how:
1. Gather lead pencil (with lead in it).
2. Rub the lead part of the pencil along the teeth of the zip. (If zip is stuck, try to rub pencil in around the stuck parts too).
3. Suck in stomach.
4. Gently wiggle zip up.
5. If gentle wiggling doesn't work, repeat steps 2-4.
6. If step 6 doesn't work, utilise brute force.
7. Marvel at fact that dress done up. Don't think about how you'll get it off later.
8. Send email to Rachel saying "cheers for the hot tip".


I have a feeling this lady doesn't actually want her zip to come undone.

Happy Friday

Go forth and emit positive vibes!


We have a lot to be grateful for, and it's not just diffusion fashion lines (although that is pretty excellent too!).

Happy weekend xo

I Want Lanvin, Not Flowers

The much-anticipated Lanvin Hearts H&M campaign has finally launched... Tantalising images of what will be the du jour party frock for the Christmas season are available via this very attractive ad - capturing everyone most-likely to wear his range: skeletal old women embracing fashion over doily-inspired cardigans, the OMG girl - bedecked in raybans, the demanding diva who knows her labels and wants them yesterday.



Universally adored Lanvin creative director, Alber Elbaz, had this to say of the rationale behind his latest collaboration:

"Ninety-five per cent of women cannot afford Lanvin so let them have a taste. It's like if I was living in a palace and opened some doors and said, 'Have tea with me, taste the food'."

A little patronising... Yes. But we fashionistas who can but drool with envy over high end designer gear understand what he is saying. We are having a tasty morsel of what he serves up each season to the wealthy, well-shod few. We are actually lucky that fashion has progressed in this manner - designers are closer to us than ever before, and as consumers we have the choice of participating. It is no longer an opportunity deprived of use due to a lack of entrepreneurship on our part, the earning of mega-bucks or being born into the right (read LOADED) family.

Fashion has progressed and we are the lucky beneficiaries!


Embrace.