Shoesday: Feeling Flat

"Oh my god! You really are pregnant - you're wearing flats!!" my friend exclaimed: partly in horror, partly amused and partly in sympathy: there's no way I'd be giving up my beloved heels without a solid fight (and very firm advice from a medical professional, and even then I tend to ignore such advice. Frankly, I gave up the heels because I was scared).

I can narrow it down to the exact moment when I believe my attempts at super-human activity as a pregnant woman lead to the downfall of my pelvis, and marked the end of wearing high heels for the next few months.

Since the beginning of June I have been moving at the pace of a crippled snail thanks to a condition that affects about 2% of pregnant women: pubic symphysis disfunction (PSD). Essentially, the ligaments that normally keep your pelvic bone aligned during pregnancy become too relaxed too soon before birth (it's meant to happen closer to birth - I've had symptoms since the start of June. With a due date at the later part of August this is waaaay too early) . As a result, the pelvic joint (aka the symphysis pubis) becomes unstable and can cause pelvic pain, the most common symptom being difficulty walking and wrenching pain - as though your very being is tearing apart.

Thankfully, the weekend this happened an Occupational Therapist friend of mine was in town, and she quickly told me the symptoms were not normal, that she had heard of it happening, and the best thing to do was to get some help from a physio. I had wrongly assumed this was a normal - horrible - part of pregnancy and that I would just have to slug through it. Admittedly, I am just slugging through it, but I have been getting some assistance from a physio and massage therapist and it has helped somewhat. To be perfectly honest though, the pain is still pretty intense and there are days where I spend most of my afternoon or evening in tears because it is so painful and so frustrating. I am frustrated in the sense that I can't walk without pain, and for a person who extols the virtues of tuck jumps, not being able to move freely is an awful impediment to living what I consider a normal, healthy life.

So there it is: pregnancy since the start of June has been hell on earth, and some days, it is a struggle to remain upbeat. My pity parties can be quite intense (I'm sure exacerbated by pregnant lady hormones). Not even a new visual album from Beyonce is enough to cheer me up some days.

Beyonce: feeling the feels.

For those of you who are pregnant or are planning on getting pregnant, fear not: this isn't a common side effect of pregnancy. My only advice is that if you are feeling any type of pain during pregnancy, do NOT stoically soldier on and go and get some professional help. You may continue to damage yourself or make worse your new condition. For example, don't go to a gym class thinking a nice bit of exercise will tease out the muscular pain you are suddenly and intensely feeling (#iamanidiot).

In case you don't believe me, there are women out there still doing these types of activities at 40 weeks pregnant:

Photo courtesy of YogawithGeorgia 

Shots like that actually make me want to cry tears of frustration, as I know pregnancy is not meant to be 100% nightmare. I am feeling unfairly targeted by the Universe and wondering what I did so wrong for this to happen. Also distressing for me is that the only cure for my malaise is child birth, which seems like such an abstract - and frankly not very reassuring - cure, that I remain fearful that I will never be fixed and this is permanent. No more tuck jumps - ever. *cry*

Enough of my sooking. Next week, hubby and I are off to Palm Cove for a long awaited Babymoon. I can't wait! I am so, so tired (the PSD means rolling over in bed is wretchedly painful, so my sleep is frequently punctuated with trips to the loo and painful attempts at rolling over, plus my workplace commences every day at 7:30am sharp with a site meeting). Having been in a winter climate since March, I am also looking forward to tropical weather, tropical fruits and open toed shoes!

FLAT ONES OF COURSE.

Metallic, bejewelled or adorned with pom-poms, I really don't care. As long as they're pretty and come with a pedicure, I'll be happy.

Shoesday

How adorable are these shoes from Asos? A total steal at $95!

Shoesday Foxes Den

No longer just the domain of Eskimos and Mongolians (this is a very big assumption I'm making here), fox fur shoes are making an appearance on New York's city streets. Logic dictates that if it happens on New York's fashion scene, it will happen elsewhere (we learned this very important lesson in The Devil Wears Prada).

In particular, Jimmy Choo has released a number of fox-fur pom-pom bedazzled shoes just in time for Christmas, which are perfect for your back-up singers at the annual Christmas carol event.

OMG are these shoes cerulean? Segway alert!

Not to be outdone, slippers are also featuring what I can only assume is this super warm, super soft new material which is likely to enrage animal activists globally. After all, when we say "fox" in this context we are most certainly not saying "faux".

Slippers courtesy of Brother Vellies

Just one last pair, in case you weren't convinced.

If you don't like fox on your feet, there is also the foxy fox fur coat to consider.

Perhaps don't wear your fox coat with your fox shoes lest you be confused for, well, a fox. 

Shoesday: Open Season

Can we hear an exuberant "BOO-YAH" for the arrival of Spring? After a Winter that has been experienced from Shanghai (at the end of the southern hemisphere's Summer) to Brisbane (ok, not much of a winter, but our houses are not built for cold morning air) to Hobart (deeply freezing!) to Melbourne to Adelaide to regional South Australia and rural Queensland - I feel I have been there and done that with Winter this year.

Magically enough, it is forecast to reach 26 today. So it is essential that we celebrate the advent of Spring with some open toed shoes and not a black opaque stocking in sight. Some shots from Charlotte Olympia's Frida Kahlo-inspired Cruise collection and Jimmy Choo because, well, Jimmy Choo.

Pictures from Charlotte Olympia and Jimmy Choo Cruise S/S2016 collections.

Shoesday: Cons

As well as it being hubby's birthday, Tuesday 28 July heralded a rebirth of sorts for the much-loved footwear essential: Cons (well, that's what I call them - they are also known as the Chuck Taylor All Star).

The new Chuck Taylor features all-white foxing, a Nike Lunarlon sock liner and perforated microsuede liner, a foam padded collar, and a tongue that apparently never needs straightening (this is the bit about the new design I hate - must everything always be perfect? I love a lopsided tongue!).

Converse All-Stars are that iconic piece of footwear melded from canvas and rubber. From their debut in 1917 (ostensibly for serious athletes), through to today, Cons epitomise laid-back cool, having been worn on the feet of famous (James Dean, Kurt Cobain, Kristen Stewart, Alexa Chung) to not-so-famous cool kids alike.

After a brief hiccup (read bankruptcy) in the 1990s, Converse was bought out by Nike in 2003, heralding a return to covet status that Nike's powerful, deep-reaching marketing department could largely be credited with.

Whether this latest incarnation of a timeless classic will be adored or abhorred is yet to be seen. As for me... I kinda like your old stuff better than your new stuff, Converse.

Shoesday Shoe Police

Mayhem broke out (sort of) on the Cannes Film Festival red carpet after women were turned away at the theatre door for the premier of Carol (starring Cate Blanchett if you're interested) for violating the strict shoe policy for the festival.

Told "No, no, this won't work. You can't get in like this" women in flat shoes were sent scurrying for the heels.  And it wasn't just your average Joe who was turned away for code violations - the director of the new Amy Winehouse documentary had to flex some muscle for his wife to be allowed in due to her flats, and art dealer Larry Gagosian had to call on buddy Harvey Weinstein to attend the film Gagosian after being turned away for wearing "stylish" sneakers.

Even worse, an amputee was rebuffed at Gus Van Sant's Sea of Trees screening (the amputee was later allowed in, but she advised many of her colleagues in flat shoes were not).

While I love a good heel and can understand that a festival such as Cannes has standards that should be met, I am a little stunned that stylish sneakers and gorgeous flats don't make the grade. To be honest though (and with the exception of those who really can't wear heels due to a medical condition), wouldn't you want to wear high heels when you're on a red carpet with cameras flashing? They make your legs longer (for a mini-skirt), your silhouette more fabulous (for everything, but especially a long gown) and generally speaking everything more put together. But that's just me - a high heel lover from way back.

Diane Kruger illustrates some of the key benefits of wearing high heels (hint: height, length, silhouette)

Even Emily Blunt, who furiously denounced the no-flats policy appeared on the red carpet in sky high heels.

Shoesday: Barbie Girl

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley does a mean Barbie impersonation for Japanese Vogue this month. There are plenty of lust-worthy shoes as you might expect from Barbie. My favourites are the polka dot ankle boots.

Some people consider the shoot a little creepy, I consider it fierce. I'm sure Tyra would approve.

Shoesday: Stamp Your Feet ... in Sequins

Shoesday Stinker

Although the weather in Brisbane this weekend was decidedly brutally hot (described variously as a "stinker"), driving this writer to jump into her swimming pool fully clothed after walking for miles more than expected at midday, let it not be mistaken that I wish for summer to slope off into one of its customarily radiant sunsets.

No, no. Quite the opposite. Please stay Summer! I fear your departure as much as I fear a darkened, empty apartment after watching an episode of The Fall.

So of course this Shoesday we must celebrate Summer in order to convince her to stay longer (although the scientists say that this is fact anyhow).

Without further ado, Spring/Summer 2014/15 from various catwalks, mainly Milanese, because who does Summer better than the Italians?

Shoesday: Christmas Post

Still struggling to figure out what you want for Christmas? Is your better half still bugging you to tell him/her what you want for Christmas? Stop them in their tracks with this gift idea from Net-A-Porter: a pair of shoes, every week for a year.

That's right. For a measly $47,500 all these shoes (and plenty more) could be yours. A gift every week! Delivered to your door!

They'll never make the mistake of not knowing exactly what you want for Christmas again... ;o)

Shoesday: Pleasure & Pain

London's Victor & Albert Museum will be home to an enviable shoe collection from 13 June 2015, with its newly announced Shoes: Pleasure and Pain exhibition. Looking at the extremes of footwear around the world, the exhibition will show about 200 pairs of shoes ranging from a gold leaf-decorated sandal from ancient Egyptian times, through to today's dazzling, often-times-death-defying high heels (often sans heel).

Attendees will be asked to consider the cultural significance and transformative capacity of shoes - and we're not just talking Cinderella getting her man thanks to her perfect glass slipper.

The exhibit will be organised around three themes: Transformation, Status and Seduction.

"Transformation" will highlight shoes that are now legend that through folklore and cultural influence have become "contemporary marketing tools for the concept of the modern-day, fairy-tale shoemakers, whose designs will magically transform the life of the wearer." (OK, that bit is about Cinderella).

"Status" looks at the correlation between impractical shoes, often designed in shapes and materials that make them unsuitable for walking and the people of privileged status who usually wore them. And along with the outlandish and absurd modern creations, there are Indian men's shoes with extremely long toes, noisy slap-sole shoes worn in 17th century Europe and 'Pompadour' shoes worn by trend-setting women in the 18th-century French court.

Ouch

"Seduction" includes shoes that are "an expression of sexual empowerment or a passive source of pleasure. Like feet, shoes can be objects of fetishism. High Japanese geta, extreme heels and tight-laced leather boots will be on display as well as examples of erotic styles channeled by mainstream fashion in recent years."

Great shoes: weapons of mass seduction

So there you have it. If you're in London in June, please go and take lots of pictures. :o)

Shoesday: Party Season

December - and Summer (hooray!) - has arrived! Cue Jingle Bells, Christmas parties and happily warm evenings spent with friends, champagne and prawns.

Before you head out for said parties and champagne sessions, you must of course consider your footwear.

Tis the season

Comfort or beauty? I think we all know the answer...

Shoesday: Mary Katrantzou for Adidas

Fashion's Queen of print - Mary Katrantzou - has released her latest collection: an out of the box, glow in the dark collaboration with Adidas.

The collection features studded shoes, serious lashings of colour, and of course a solid dose of the the furious prints we've come to expect from this Dutch master.

The collection doesn't just stop with shoes - with figure-hugging zip up dresses and pullovers in neoprene and print mesh with lashings of florals and the iconic adidas 3-stripes, the trend of wearing athletic wear as outer wear is unlikely to die out any time soon.

Shoesday: Races

We are now knee deep in Spring racing season here in Australia, with the moment of climax very soon upon us. Yes, Melbourne Cup: the race that stops a nation, and sends the retail and millinery industry into overdrive as women feverishly search for the hat that will bring them Fashions on the Field glory - or at least win them a bottle of Moet in the hotly contested best dressed competition at their workplace Melbourne Cup lunch.

It is an iconic day in Australia's fashion calendar, and as such, should be treated with the deepest respect. 

Below we have a prime example of increasingly common race-day attire that is not respectful to either the Melbourne Cup or to shoes in general.

Way to destroy a perfectly lovely pair of shoes.

The shoe cap. I've seen them in action, and you are kidding yourself if you think these things are invisible due to their clear plastic properties. Like the "invisible bar strap" - also made of clear plastic yet somehow the only part of an outfit the eye is drawn to when worn - there is nothing discrete or classy about these little puppies. 

When attending a day at the races, simply resign yourself to the fact that your stiletto is going to sink into the grass somewhat (to be honest, great quality grass - often found at excellent race tracks - won't see you sinking that much). 

So aim for classic, elegant heels and embrace the great outdoors.

Shoesday: London Fashion Week

I think it's still Tuesday in London, so this still counts as Shoesday...

It's Fashion Week season in the Northern Hemisphere, with London Fashion Week currently well under way.

I have to say, having recently spent some time in London, and having been to New York a couple of times, I think that Londoners have a far more distinctive style, and that they are also simply more stylish than their friends across the ditch. Americans tend to dress in the safe zone (with the exception of Carrie Bradshaw, but she is a work of fiction and also not emblematic of how folks dress on a daily basis in NYC - sadly), whereas London is a melting pot of different styles pulled off expertly and without looking like it was a fuss to get dressed that morning.

I was often a little concerned I'd get beaten up for staring openly at people on the Tube in London so fascinating were the looks (I saw not one but two blue mohawks on the Tube), whereas in NYC there was not nearly so much fashionable fodder to ogle.

One thing I've noticed in the snippets of shots I've seen from LFW is the more pared back looks - minimalism and low-key looks certainly seem to be the order of the day (without sacrificing fun via colour and interesting embellishments via hair and make up). In particular, we are still seeing the sneaker enjoying its moment in the sun.

Colourful sandals and sneakers at Burberry Prorsum

Sneakers on the street

Given that when you travel you tend to live in flats (my Converse trainers reek from my sweaty feet on 32 degree days in Rome - and I have a charming sneaker tan to match #suntanfail), I was pretty pleased to see this look everywhere in Europe meaning (a) I didn't stand out as a tourist; and (b) I didn't suffer footwear envy on too many occasions. Of course, I still bought outrageously high heels in Paris.

Shoesday: The Ugly Flat

The Spring/Summer 2014 Ready to Wear collections heralded a disturbing trend for high heel lovers everywhere: the dawn of the ugly flat. Not as disastrous as the Croc, but still not capable of the elegance a lovely Jesus sandal can achieve when done right, we have been delivered the Birkenstock as embellished by fashion designers. In the case of Celine, the Birkenstock was bizarrely fur-lined, Marc Jacobs and Prada tried to tart them up with glitter and gems respectively, while others still (primarily at Marni) attempted to add a bit of height, creating Frankenstein's shoe from bits of a clog and huge chunks of a Birkenstock. Hideous.

   

     

   

I knew the trend had broken into the mainstream when I noticed - with jaw agape - that Witchery had a pair of slides in the distinctive Birkenstock form all set for Spring in the Southern Hemisphere. Once the domain of the Granola-munching, long armpit hair cultivators among us, the slightly unwashed hippy can now expect to be joined - like it or not - by their sweeter smelling fashionista sisters this summer. 

Shoesday: Emma Watson