Moving on Swift-ly

Taylor Swift has overnight shown us how best to deal with the fallout of a break-out (and Calvin Harris has perhaps shown the opposite side - but not as dramatic as, say, OJ Simpson).

Photos were released overnight of Tay Tay canoodling with Tom Hiddleston, the man widely tipped to be the next James Bond, and whom she met and famously boogied with at the MET Gala about a month ago.

Kudos for the very clever headline

Apparently post-MET Gala Hiddleston chased her down, charmed her with flowers and now they're an item madly smooching by the sea shore.

Much to the disgust of Calvin Harris who not only recently broke up with Taylor (or DID SHE DUMP HIM?? big questions today) and also after being injured in a car accident just a month ago also. Suffice to say, it's probably not Harris' best couple of weeks.

Swift moved well, swiftly, when the photos broke doing all the things we should do when we break up with someone:

• Unfollow and unfriend ex on all the social media;
• Remove all evidence you were ever an item from social media - even though youlooked freakin' amazing in all those pics (NOT an excuse after all);
• Move on with someone else - preferably James Bond - first;
• Kept it cool and not respond to comments from the ex.

Comments, you ask? OH YES - Harris, upon seeing the photos, took to Twitter in what we can only imagine was a jealous rage and posted this message to Taylor:

What do the skulls even mean??

... and then of course very quickly deleted it, but not before a whole bunch of screen shots were taken and sent to media outlets (bless). Sorry Calvin, you lost that round of social media break-up sparring.

My only concern here is - and of course I'm really pleased Taylor Swift isn't crying over a break-up - that this is all a little too soon for Taylor to move on. After all, we need her to write another guilty-pleasure album (followed up with a world tour) about break-ups and going crazy over boys. Sure, the happy songs are great but so are the stab-a-cake songs! On the plus side, it might be a vengeful, indignant album which we haven't really seen from Swift (other than We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together). 

Really, we just want to ensure Taylor Swift does not do us out of an album that lyrically dishes on what went wrong with Harris, and how she was wooed by this new man I have never heard of (#outoftheloop). And meanwhile - does this mean T-Swizzle is lining up to be a Bond girl?

Pick me!

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Birthdays

Today is lovely hubby's birthday. I always have such grand plans for these occasions, generally involving some ridiculously complicated gourmet triumph to be completed with stealth and in record time. It never goes to plan as the parameters I set myself are ridiculous - I am thinking my disastrous batch of brownies one Valentine's Day, and a hatchet job on a sponge cake a few birthdays ago. It's too stressful and - in this world of profligate bakeries, delis and coffee shops with cakes on hand - pointless (unless you truly believe your partner will care if the sugary delight is homemade or purchased - they rarely truly care).*

So rather than this (which was my dream):

And actually, when there's just 2 of you, this amount of cake is simply dangerous

I ended up with a tower of croissants with a candle on top, ham and cheese on the side. Scoff if you will, but it went down a treat.

* Admittedly, it is easier to fudge a birthday cake for one's spouse/partner than it is for a child, but I believe the principle of dashing to the bakery early in the morning can still quite readily apply (particularly if you order ahead).

Loving Love

Today is the 6 month anniversary of that epic first date I went on... Following the hot pink lipstick encounter.

This is 1/3rd of the time of my longest relationship ever! It's quite a milestone for me (a rehabilitated commitment phobe). We're currently planning a trip to bike ride around France (and capture some of Tour de France), sail Croatia, see Turkey and introduce me to the wonders of Rome, Venice and Spain. Exciting!

While we're on the topic of love, I thought you might enjoy this extract from a letter written by John Steinbeck (Nobel laureate and much celebrated author) to his son - all about love.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

Cute, huh? See the rest of it here.

Film Review: Rom Com Central

So for one of the dates I went on over the weekend, it involved dinner at one of the guy’s houses, and a DVD. So I took along a selection – not having a clue what he liked or had seen, and being too rushed to read the back covers because I’m always late. To everything.

First one off the shelf – and the one I watched with my date – was Wild Target, starring Bill Nighy, Rupert Grint and Emily Blunt.

Bill Nighy is Victor Maynard, a lonely assassin of somewhat questionable sexuality and with serious mummy issues. He is also learning French – in the bathtub, rather endearingly. Emily Blunt becomes Maynard’s latest target following a clumsy art heist, and Rupert Grint is along for the ride after being caught up in a failed assassination attempt. Rupert Everett is the bad guy, and he is surrounded by a coterie of ruthless and also bumbling bad guys – you can see where the funny bits are likely to happen.

One thing I must note, is Emily Blunt's clothes in this film. They are awful. Truly awful. Such a disappointment after The Devil Wears Prada.

Wild Target was cute and had its funny moments, although I didn’t really feel that it broke any new ground in the lovable assassin comedy genre. While I didn’t really feel the chemistry between Nighy (whom I adore adore adore – have you seen his funny spindly fingers? Gorgeous!) and Blunt, I did laugh out loud quite a lot. If it’s available as a weekly hire, or it’s tight arse Tuesday, I recommend getting it out. 3 stars.

Another of the films (my video store does 3 overnight for $12 – can’t beat the value!) was No Strings Attached, starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. Riding high after her Oscars success, this film kind of flew under the radar (apparently because the PR people wanted to bury the film as they thought it might attract the wrong kind of attention and spoil Portman’s Oscars chances).

No Strings Attached also covers old ground in the romantic comedy world: two people having sex and vehemently attempting to ensure they do not end up falling love with the other. We all know this does not work! They establish ground rules – i.e. no spooning in clothes, no breakfasts or other kinds of dates – however, Kutcher’s character has far too big a heart, and his kindness of spirit ends up with him on the scrap heap following the breaking of certain rules.

There are some hilarious moments in this film, and, for those who are a little prudish, some very candid moments. I laughed out loud. A. Lot. It was a sweet film, and for a single girl, it was also one of those rom coms that had an ending that gave you hope – and didn’t leave you sitting on the couch contemplating an impossibly beautiful ending that you know will never happen to you (cue teariness and possible ice cream consumption). Ed: Did that sound psycho? Perhaps it is. For some reason, I find certain rom coms terribly upsetting – all that true love? Get me outta here!

Anyway - I'll give it 3.5 stars. Perfectly fine to rent even if it's still overnight and costs more than $1 to rent.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm....

It wouldn't be a weekend of back-to-back dates if I didn't discover something new about what turns me off in a man...

Top hits for this category as a result of the weekend's activities include:

* A 29 year old who still does Contiki tours.

* A man in white dress shoes.

* A man with no sense of humour.

* The pushy pasher.

* A man who keeps the remaining 3/4 of the dessert I baked including the dish. I assume in order to ensure I must see him again so I may get the dish back...? (I am questioning myself on this one... Should I be leaving the dessert behind? I keep thinking that it should have played out like this: he offers the dessert back to me, then I say "no, don't be silly - you keep it! I made it for you" and then he says "Oh goodness me, no. Your flatmates will kill me if they can't have some of your famous apple, berry & port crumble!", and then I say - doubtfully - "well only if you're sure... It is my flatmate's dish after all and they DO love my crumble so much" and he insists I take it, and then I take it and eat it all in one sitting. Correct? Incorrect?)

There just aren't enough Jon Hamm's to go around...

In other dating news, check out Sam de Brito's latest column One Plus One Equals? about the improbability of compatibility. So, for example... To me the things listed above are an absolute turn-off, but to another woman these things might be perfection.

And then there is this point that Sam makes at the beginning of his column:

One of the most challenging aspects about coming out of a long-term relationship and diving back into the seething spa of singledom has to be reactivating the part of your brain that's receptive to shagging strangers.

I just can't imagine sharing my body with anyone else just yet. I know life is short, I should enjoy the pleasures of the flesh etc etc. But... My head isn't there yet. Or is it my heart? I can't figure out which one rules my flesh the most. I am definitely guilty of the over-think! I am happy sticking to flirtatious, suggestive text messages, making eyes across the bar and the joys of meeting lots of new people and handing out my phone number for now. Blushing is fun!


What are your no-nos in a man? It can be a fine line!

Happy Friday: Men, Men, Men, Men

Hmmm... After all that socialising, I find myself with 4 dates this weekend! With 4 different men! I'm such a player! haha. Don't worry peeps, I'm not sleeping with any of them! I'm just having a riotous good time. As I'm sure I've said before, I believe that harmless flirting has many health benefits for all involved: as long as it's respectful, safe and no one feels like they're being used or jilted, I think it's a fantastic activity for whiling the hours of a long weekend away!


I cannot express enough how happy I am to have escaped my massive funk of just recently. And I am sure that all these dates have come as a result of my new-found happiness and positive attitude!

I am also headed to the race track with a bunch of girlfriends, and various breakfasts and hot chocolates are to be had with other friends. I think it's going to be a great weekend - even though it's freezing!!

What are you doing this weekend? xo

I Haven't Even Started Spanish Yet...

And something very, very unusual happened.

Whenever I try to heal a (in this case, my) broken heart, I live by the motto: Say yes to every invitation you possibly can. Although people will try to tell you you can't say "yes" to everything, in actual fact you can. You just have to be ingenious, good with a diary and disciplined! In fact, being double-booked can be kinda fun. I love flying out of a room saying I have to dash to something else. So the last few weeks have been madly full of events and excursions and appearances and disappearances. I haven't expected a thing to come of anything, however, because I'm not so much as looking for someone (in fact, definitely not), as looking for a million different things at a million different moments - and probably more accurately, surveying the landscape. It's been a while since I dipped into the dating scene (ok.. not that long, but it can feel a bit weird when your usual single buddies are coupled up and in fact up the duff!).

But Saturday night I popped in to a quick BBQ with some people who were then heading to a football game. I primarily went just to catch up with a few friends, eat (I will do anything for my stomach), and get out of the house after being cooped up with the flu for a WHOLE WEEK (yuck). So needless to say, I wasn't looking my best. Nor was I paying much attention to anyone bar my friends... Although I did notice a cute guy with dimples and an English accent sitting nearby.

This morning I opened my Facebook message account to this:

Hi Rachel,

Apologies for the message out of the blue, but I met you last night at (good friend)'s place and you seem really lovely... so I was just wondering if you might be up for going for a drink sometime?...

Oh and please don't judge me for the facebook stalking! :)

What the what?? LOVELY? And a brazen, completely at-ease admission of stalking. And he's riding an elephant in his profile picture.

So. I haven't replied yet, because I'm a little scared. He actually seems nice. And as we all know ... That's never been my type before, despite best efforts to convince myself otherwise.


So. What in God's name do I say in response? To a nice person? Who thinks I'm lovely??

New Book / It's Not Him/Her It's YOU!

According to this little tome, there are 15 huge mistakes men and women make which cause them to be single - either sitting on the shelf tapping your foot, or sabotaging the relationships they are in. The mistakes are as follows:

* Only being attracted to unavailable types
* Negative attitudes
* Being too bossy and picky
* Putting exercise before a relationship
* Being a workaholic
* A problem ex
* Toxic friendships
* Being hung up on a past lover
* Letting parents be too involved
* Neglecting yourself
* Casual, rather than committed sex
* Drama rules your life
* Being overly disorganised
* Being too clingy
* You can’t say no

I can see the point here, most definitely. And it is a little like the point that has been made about storytelling that there are only 7 storylines in the world, and that every story is simply a variation of these 7 storylines. But sometimes, it's not your fault or any fault of some persistent behaviour (eh.. disorganised is my middle name and I think it is somewhat adorable).

Sometimes you just meet a wolf in sheep's clothing. Or sometimes your instincts are wrong. Sometimes, John, it's not your fault! Go fuck yourself!

I'm all for self-improvement, and fixing things that are broken and being generous and compromising in a relationship. And I realise sometimes there's a fine line between compromise and being compromised, but suggesting that it's your fault all the time is a little rich. And newsflash - it's your imperfections that the right person might actually love. Sometimes your new love helps you iron out those imperfections. And sometimes, there just aren't any decent guys available! It happens!

Boy Talk: Pants v Skirt

As I stood in the lift, pretending to watch the numbers but really secretly observing the fashions in the elevator, I compared myself with the girl in front of me (as girls are prone to do). We were similar in some ways - well, not really. We were both wearing heels [hers barely fell into this category, being a mere 2 cms off the ground and in, frankly, shoddy condition], and like me she was primarily wearing black. She had one of those heinous Guess handbags that rape my eyes everytime I see one. But the key difference here was she was wearing pants, and I am wearing one of my difficult-to-breathe-but-worth-it-for-the-waist-accentuation skirts. Seriously, these high-waisted skirts work miracles - I feel like Jessica Rabbit everytime. Which at first was hard to feel comfortable wearing, given our obsession with the androgynous, hipless, pre-pubescent skinny look.

I digress. Pants. She had skin-tight pants on. She had a great figure. I suddenly felt less like Jessica Rabbit, and more like Jessica Simpson post-John Mayer (for the ill-informed: fat). And it got me thinking about boys and their preferences. I've had countless boyfriends who have tried to tempt me into wearing jeans more often - so much so, that some of them have bought jeans for me. "Oh, lovely!" you say. No, no, no - it was all for their viewing pleasure. The request that I wear jeans was always prefaced with a "you look so hot in pants, babe" (I shudder at the thought of these comments and the accompanying leer) and then "I just don't know why you don't wear pants more often". Groan. But when I saw the girl in the lift - and maybe it was my run-in with a fat-making mirror during my lunch break - but I suddenly felt like perhaps I should be wearing pants more often.

Unless you look like Mossy, I remain unconvinced

I can only assume that the obsession with them is mainly because skin-tight pants are pretty clear when a boy imagines you naked. In the eyes of a lecherous male, if your pants are tight enough, you're basically naked - the cloth is merely a second skin. They know where your hips start (if your pants even reach that high). They know the width of your thighs (ok, some muscle tone is missing, but candle light can be just as deceptive), they know where your crotch ends - i.e. the height of your hip, and they can get a pretty good idea of the curve of the bottom. In some particularly tragic cases, they are also well-informed about your nether regions by the presence of the infamous, and yet increasingly prevalent, camel toe [if you're fat, it's a moose knuckle]. The only thing they don't know, in boy talk, is whether "the carpet matches the curtains". **I am suddenly hating men.**

So what to do? I love skirts for the curves they accentuate, and the mystery they create (in my mind). And I'm not really one for dressing for men - I dress for me [and the occasional girl ;o)]. But the preference is clear. And that girl looked scrumptious, despite her rape-my-eyes handbag and boring shoes. And I'm smack bang in the middle of a drought, times are tough. Do I crumble and wear jeans? Or stick to the skirt and hope for a good old fashioned, skirt-chasing gentleman?