Innovations for the Film/Podcast/TV Series Tragic

Inadvertently telling someone the ending of a film or TV series, or giving away a major twist in a storyline is one of those things that, depending on your friend's demeanour, can spark either fuming, flame-spitting rage or (worse) mortally wounded you-stole-a-baby's-lolly, puppy-dog faces - possibly even tears depending on how attached to the narrative they are. Sometimes it's intentional (and evil) when you drop spoilers out there, other times it is a genuine mistake.

Last night, Handsome Hubby went to the midnight screening of Star Wars (geek alert) along with not only 20 of his closest mates, but also most of Australia it would seem based on social media, TV and radio this morning. He mentioned that one of his mates in the Northern hemisphere had made a semi-cryptic Star Wars reference on Facebook that part-way through the film made sense and was also something of a spoiler which, as Hubby commented, was almost a "de-friending offence". WOAH. That's serious.

But then I thought about that time I made a comment about Will Gardiner's fate at the end of a season finale The Good Wife episode, and the vitriol that came spewing at me from one particular friend, and I realised that you are skating on the edges of friendship when you make such pronouncements on social forums of any kind (including the oldest forum of all, in-person) - no matter how cryptic you think your statement is! And let's face it, there's always going to be a friend who makes a non-cryptic comment against your cryptic post, and it blows the storyline wide open and before you know it, friends are at war.

General thoughts on people who take pleasure in issuing spoilers via social media

Today I am issuing an edict to Zuckerberg and his Facebook-coding illuminati to go out there and resolve this first-world crisis and devise a filter which enables you to filter out stories and status updates regarding [insert guilty pleasure / TV, film, podcast addiction] so you may never have an ending spoilt again. In this age of NetFlix and binge TV series watching - where no one is really watching at the same time as anyone else, this invention must be developed. The sooner the better!

It was so hard on my poor little thumb as I furiously scrolled through Facebook in April this year to not see Mad Men spoilers before I had the opportunity to lock down access to that final season* (thank you, Qantas in-flight entertainment). More immediately, I am currently listening to the second Serial podcast, and finding it very hard to not read all those damn articles about Bowe Bergdahl that keep popping up in my newsfeed.

By the by, I believe this ingenious filter I have devised (that I'm sure no one has ever conceived of before), could also be used for blocking stories and photos certain people in your life you would prefer not to know a dang thing about but whom politeness dictates you cannot defriend (I know there is an Unfollow filter, but does that block photos of them with your friends? NO). This is so ingenious, I can't believe it doesn't already exist.

You may have a newborn baby and generous paternity leave to attend to Zuckerberg, but I think this is far more deserving of your attention. After all, friendships are at stake here.

* It was excellent, harrowing, beautiful. Please watch.