Friday, March 20, 2009

The Biggest Disease of Our Generation: Singledom

Singledom? Don't you mean singledoom? If the women of He's Just Not That Into You are to be believed, then yes. You are doomed. You have leprosy. Life cannot be fully enjoyed, and in fact life should be lived solely to reach the ultimate nirvana: marriage.


Ok... so it wasn't quite like that, but I did find this film fairly offensive. Gorgeous Gigi is obsessed with getting a guy. We all know a Gigi: she's the girlfriend who drafts the message she plans to leave on voicemail whereupon she freaks out when the guy actually picks up the phone, requires assistance writing text messages, and dissects every word uttered by her date looking for clues to the potential longevity of their relationship. Honestly. She gives single women a bad name. Isn't her perfect skin enough for her?

Then there's Jennifer Aniston's character (perfect hair again) who dumps her perfect boyfriend because he has no interest in getting married. Then there's the lady who dumps her husband not because he cheated on her - there's a painful scene where she begs him to stay with her after he confesses to cheating - but because he lied to her about still smoking. Then there's the object of his lust, Scarlett Johansson (always adept at the seductress role), the hot chick that he picked up at the supermarket. While she was one of the characters with the most strength in the film, you also have to remember that she's knowingly become involved with a married man, who stoops to a new low of humiliation when she sits in a cupboard and listens to Mr (Hot) Lame-O have sex with wifey. eeeugh! Of course, the film ends happily ever after - which, apparently, is that everyone gets on with their life - with a boyfriend/fiancee. Except the divorced woman - who looks lonely in that apartment all by herself.

Don't get me wrong, there are certain elements of the film I found amusing and that I could totally identify with - who doesn't have a Kevin Connolly who they ring up for some physical attention every now and again? - and the whole "no answer is your answer" thing is painfully true, and can be laughed at - years after the experience. But I felt seriously offended by the rest of the film, and that central message of being coupled up. Sure, this is meant to be a "rom com", but that doesn't have to be at the expense of a woman's dignity and brains does it? I despair that this is love - when you relentlessly hunt it down, and in some cases with minimal regard for other women.

That said... I may be a tad biased, having some unresolved issues with the book upon which the film is based. A "friend" gave me a copy of He's Just Not That Into You while I was in the throes of being - I admit - a total pain over some guy who had dumped me. The title of the book is harsh enough, however the contents of the book is like an arrow in the heart with every chapter - throw some vinegar into the open wound every time they say "he's just not that into you" and you can imagine the self-flagellating, hard-core depressing experience reading the book was. Like all self-help books, I figure you're not going to learn the lesson from some patronising "guru" - you're only going to figure it out the hard way. I made it to chapter 2.

Anyway - there was a rather hilarious article the other day discussing the prevalence of singletons in our society, and how annoyed single people get by married people looking at them with pity when it becomes evident that you are, in fact, single. The article suggested turning the usual "we feel so sorry for you" comments back on said married couple as follows:
  • "Don't worry, you'll get a divorce someday."
  • "Oh, you're married? I'm so sorry!"
  • "You're so great - how come you're still married?"
  • "It's OK to be married for a while but eventually you need to grow up and become single."
  • "You're so lucky to be married and not have as much responsibility."
  • "But don't you feel bad not having a life, seeing as you're married?"
  • "When are you going to get a divorce?"
  • "It's so sad having to come home to a house with someone in it all the time."
  • "Well, I would've invited you to book group, except you're married and I thought you wouldn't want to be around all those happily single people."
  • "What's a beautiful woman like you doing married?"

Bridget Jones, eat your heart out.

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